STORY TIME! Tsunamis, Golf Carts and Total Fucking Idiots

What do you get when you mix a golf cart, a tsunami, four idiots and two unsuspecting mothers?

The answer is simple: You get four idiots stuck in a tsunami with only a golf cart to save them and two unsuspecting mothers awaiting their return.

The tsunami hit while we were at dinner waiting for the main course to grace the table.

My three comrades and I were sitting inside a dimly lit red restaurant with a modern american decor that seemed out of place against the dingy backdrop of the Bangkok city circling outside.

The rain gave us no warning of its arrival.

It didn’t tap us on the shoulder and speak softly in its polite english accent, “Umm… Excuse me, hi. I’m rain. Yes, I’m so sorry, but I’m going to flood the streets in a bit so if you want to hop in your golf cart right now it would probably be a good time. So sorry. Lovely to meet you.”

Honestly I’m not even sure if this phenomenon could be called rain; there was a wall of water in the restaurant window.

We all looked outside at the golf cart Andrew’s mother acquiescently agreed to let us drive.

It was only about four feet from the entrance of the restaurant, but we could barely see the outline.

Speaking of Andrew… “Where the hell did he go?” I said to Justin and Sid.

Before either of them could answer me Andrew appeared in the window of the restaurant drenched, shirtless and frowning with a half-lit cigarette in his mouth.

Could you really blame us for laughing?

We thought the downpour would end before we finished dinner but none of us had ever been good with luck so we ran outside as the restaurant staff laughed in chorus with us.

“Shit, I don’t remember if I put the top down on my moms Mercedes you guys”, Justin began to explain.”The entire vehicle could be full of water right now!”

“Dude, my mom is going to kill me! You guys don’t understand,” said Andrew as he clenched the steering wheel. “This is an electric golf cart!”

Now imagine me sitting in the front seat of Andrews electric golf cart going less than five miles per hour laughing so hard at these freaking idiots that I can barely breathe.

We then spend the next hour driving through the filthiest street water I have ever seen in my entire life.

Cockroaches, rats, piss, shit, mud, plants, gas, oil, hair, dust… need I go on?

We all sat with our feet up on the dash as the water in the street flirted with the rim of the open floor and then, eventually, consumed it.

As cars passed us waves of filth reached over our heads and covered our legs.

We proclaimed words that our parents would be ashamed to have taught us.

We finally made it back to Andrew’s house to see the top of the convertible comfortably down on Justin’s mother’s Mercedes.

Andrew’s younger brother greeted us with a smile and a sarcastic question, “What happened to you guys?”

He then suggested that we tie one end of a rope to the end of his mothers SUV and the other to a wake board to make some real use out of the situation – by this time the rain had stopped, but the streets were still flooded.

We dared him to ask his mother to which he didn’t reply.

We spent the rest of the evening sitting inside Andrews state-of-the-art mansion drinking Chang beer secretly excited that we all had to spend the night together as none of us could get home given the circumstances.

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